Mind BoX

A few months ago, I read an article on an online website. That article was about a woman who came back home to Indonesia after living independently for years in Australia and s he was struggling to adapt with her parents and family. When I read that I felt like it’s something my future self writes for me. She shared about how her parents have a very distinctive point of view from her. They argue a lot almost about everything. She was having her 2nd culture shock eventhough she was in a place supposedly called as home. Everything felt so foreign for her. She started questioning what home is, where it really is. If you had read my previous posts, you must have known that I came back to my parents’ house after living independently for 9 years. I actually predicted that it is not going to be easy, living together again under one roof with our differences eventhough we’re indeed blood related. And yes, it is not easy for me. Just like other family, my parents and I have simil...

Never did I expect I would write this post on my study corner in my childhood bedroom. After 9 years living by myself independently now I’m coming back home, living together with both of my parents minus my 3 brothers. I thought I would never do this looking back   at what kind of person I was and what dream I had. Yup. I’m back to Bali. To my home. When I was a school girl all I wanted to do was going to college in different city, getting a prestigious job, and leaving home for a long time. I had this wish because I wanted my freedom. I was born and raised in a strict moslem family. So yeah I couldn’t really do what other teenagers commonly did. That’s why I wanted this freedom so badly. Also back then I only knew my parents, my family, my neighborhood, my schools, and my friends. I had less idea about how other places look like or how people on different sides live. Like other youngsters who had wild dreams and idealistic ideas, I sailed to a great unknown to look for a...

Jembrana, 07 Okt. 19 On Thursday October 3rd, 2019, I had my farewell event in a place I worked before. Long before the event was held, I convinced myself not to cry. I know that I’m a very sensitive person. I can’t see someone cries before me because I’ll definitely cry. I hate it when people see me crying because it feels like they see me naked. In order not to cry I prepared some happy scenarios on my mind. I designed what I was going to say in front of the others. When I thought everything was going to go well, it didn’t happen as I expected. I bursted into tears and yeah they saw me naked. I showed them how vulnerable I was. When it happened, I was like ‘Oh snap! I didn’t plan for this! How will they react?’ I was so afraid ruining the mood. I was ashamed. It felt like I showed them my weakness. I wanted to stop crying but I couldn’t help it. I was overwhelmed because all of my emotions were overflowing. Thank God, my friends cheered me up again so yeah I didn’t cry ...

Malang, 30 Sep. 19 who owns my life? they say this and that. do the way they do and shut up. no questions no choices. is it because the way I look? is it because I was born like this? where do I belong? they say my life is at home. bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, are my whole world, my nature. so why did God create this universe if my only world is just a square? am I not deserving it? who writes my story? they say I don’t need a pen or book or knowledge. everything is already decided. just sit and do. no questions, no criticism. so what are my mouth, fingers, brain, and heart for if the only thing I’m allowed to do is silent? who am I? I’m not what they say. I own my life. I belong to where I want to be. I write my story, not with their pen, but with my own one. zaturania Notes : I wrote this piece because I was inspired by Tara, the main character of a memoir entitled Educated . Reading this book brok...

Malang, 02 Okt. 19 I find you in every corner. I really want to say that. But you know the sun shines so brightly and it’s really hot here. I don’t think it resembles you. I think Global Warming has shown its effect on you. Don’t give me that eye. I know you quite well. When I was a kid I was always looking forward to see you on every school holiday. But yeah I still hate the motion sickness I get in almost every journey to come to you. I’m totally annoyed with the traffic. Is crossing the streets always this life-threatening? Can I walk on the sidewalk safely? Please don’t get mad buddy. You know very well how much I love you. Your mild air always comforts me. No matter how cold it is, surprisingly it’s something I like from you. I can’t get over your bakso. Everyone knows it’s heavenly tasty. Why would I do without your bookstores and city library? I’m forever grateful for new ideas, knowledge, wisdom, and information you’ve provided. Flowers and trees seem to love you as we...

Malang, 01 Okt. 19 Ada satu hal yang aku sukai ketika membaca buku. Hal itu adalah tutup buku. Mungkin bagi sebagian orang menutup buku bisa jadi menyebalkan atau menyedihkan karena itu artinya petualangan sudah usai. Tamat. The End. Namun bagiku menutup buku adalah hal yang menyenangkan. Kenapa? Karena itu berarti petualangan baru menunggu dan aku tidak sabar untuk membuka lembar baru. Bulan Oktober ini, aku menutup bukuku tentang Kota Malang. Yup, aku sudah memutuskan untuk meninggalkan kota yang telah aku tinggali selama 9 tahun ini. Rasanya masih segar diingatan pertama kali memutuskan untuk pindah ke Malang di tahun 2010 demi mengejar ilmu di Universitas Brawijaya sampai akhirnya lulus di tahun 2014 lalu lanjut mengejar karir sebagai guru di LB LIA Malang hingga bulan September 2019. Wow, kalau dihitung 9 tahun itu lama juga ya tapi jujur aja aku yang menjalaninya sebenarnya tidak merasa kalau selama itu. Dalam bukunya yang berjudul Happiness Inside Gobind Vas...