One Day Left - FLTA Journey

I wrote this post on August 13, 2024, at Ngurah Rai Airport, Bali while waiting for my flight to Soekarno Hatta Airport, Tangerang. That means 1 day left before my departure to Bloomington, Indiana. How am I feeling? In all honesty, I don’t know. It’s kind of unreal though. I still can’t believe I will leave for the USA and stay there for the next 10 months. Is it happening? Some part of me is surprisingly calm. I’m not nervous or scared. A few days before my departure, I did things I usually do. I went to my office, taught English to my students, spent time with my mom and dad, played with my adorable cats, and did my hobbies. It’s crazy to think they will all shift in just a few days. My daily routine would be much different. I will live in a completely new environment with new people I’ve never met before. Things are starting to change just like how seasons are.

Who would’ve thought I’d come this far? I couldn’t believe I am in this position. A younger version of me would’ve been extremely surprised.  “How come za? You have never chased this opportunity before! Even dreaming of going abroad and getting a chance to live there was just a dream you never really took seriously! Look at you! You’ve changed so much after all these years. I’m so proud of you!” 

Returning to where it all started, I still remember when I was hesitant to talk about applying for the FLTA program with my parents, especially my father. Well, I’m the only daughter in my family so it’s normal to expect that he would be worried about his daughter going all the way from Indonesia to the US and living there for approximately 10 months. Who wouldn’t? As my whole family lives in a small town in a very conservative community, it’s unusual for girls or women to pursue higher education or careers overseas. There is a stereotype circulating in our community that says girls should stay close to their families and get married at a young age. Well, that thought has been toned down these past few years. But still, we’ve got to be prepared for what we possibly hear from our neighbors about our “unusual” life decisions. 

I’m thankful to know that both of my parents fully support me. They celebrate my accomplishments. They take my opportunity to be an FLTA in the US as a chance for me to develop myself personally and professionally. I guess I’m so lucky to be born as their daughter. Even though I used to complain so much about the strict rules I had to follow. I know they did it to protect me. They never complain about my personality as an introverted person. They never push me over the edge. They never compare me to my successful siblings or neighboring kids. They always accept me as who I am. They always let me do what I like. They always praise me for my accomplishments no matter how small they are. I feel so bad admitting it but I often overlook those small acts they do to cherish me. Ya Allah, thank you for letting me be born to these wonderful parents and this loving family.

Oh My God, I’m on the verge of crying. I did cry though when I parted with my parents, my lil bro, my sis in law, and my cute pretty niece in front of the Domestic Departure Gate of Ngurah Rai Airport. I tried my best to hold back my tears for weeks. I broke down when my mom hugged me and cried in my arms. That was the first time I saw my mom cry in years! My father cried too! That was unexpected. I never saw him cry for real. Oh Izza, what have you done?! I was trying so hard to get hold of myself. I cried but I made sure not to get too emotional. InsyaAllah I’m coming back home when this program ends next year. Bismillah!

InsyaAllah everything will be alright. I will always pray for my parents every day. I know my siblings and family are always there for my mom and dad so I’m sure they will be fine. Let’s do our best, Izza. Allahumma Shalli Ala Muhammad!

Me, mom, dad, and lil bro. See you soon!