Applying for a Scholarship Abroad
I have always known that I’m not a high achiever. I have never been a popular student in my school and college days. I was never active in organizations or volunteer work. I never strived to be more than my friends. People always tell me that I’m smart but passive. They are not wrong though. But don’t get me wrong okay! It doesn’t mean I didn’t study or join any student activities. I know I had to study hard and get the best GPA to get a scholarship. I was just not motivated to do more than what was enough for me. Most importantly, I don’t enjoy getting too much attention. So yup, I never stand out.
There were times when I felt like “I should do more! I can’t be so unproductive like this! Look! My friends are going abroad to get their masters! What are you doing?” But the problem was, if the intention and motivation didn’t come from me internally, no matter what I did, I did it halfheartedly. It always happens when I do things because I seek someone else’s approval or make myself look great. I once tried applying for a Master's Degree scholarship by LPDP and CCIP exchange program by Fulbright just for show. The result of doing things listlessly like that as you can predict is a failure. Surprisingly, I wasn’t so disappointed when I failed. I think it was because I realized I never took it seriously from the very beginning.
Things changed in the beginning of 2023. For the first time in years, I pushed myself past my limits. I dared myself to apply for an exchange program abroad. Why did I finally decide to do it? Thanks to @klubbelajarbahasa, a small English Course I established in 2021. I finally have a reason to fight. The initiative stems from my intention to foster better English language education for my students. Even though Klub Belajar Bahasa is nothing compared to any bigger English language institutions out there, to me it’s a haven for kids especially those coming from financially disadvantaged families. I want to provide them with a place to learn English in effective and fun ways.
I used to dream of learning English in an English Course when I was a kid. That dream never came true because of my family’s financial insecurity. Now I have what it takes to help kids like me. But I know it’s not enough. I want to improve my proficiency in English Language Teaching professionally. Therefore, I decided to apply for Foreign Language Teaching Assistant exchange program by Fulbright. Alhamdulillah, all praises to Allah SWT, I received some good news about my application.
AMINEF office - Intiland Tower Central Jakarta - 27 June 2023 |
Together with some FLTA 2024/2025 candidates |
The whole process was daunting for real. I beat myself up starting from preparing tons of paperwork, an interview session with 4 panelists, to taking the TOEFL iBT which was super challenging. Thankfully, I enjoyed it all so much. Moreover, I benefited a lot from this journey. Firstly, I got to meet amazing educators from all over Indonesia. Seven of us were selected as candidates for this fellowship program. They are from Kendari, Sumbawa, Palembang, Sukabumi, and Jakarta. Thankfully, we always help each other in times of need. Although I haven’t met some of them in real life, I’m glad we can stay connected virtually. Secondly, the opportunity given to me let me get out of my comfort zone. Since moving to my hometown I have less chances to improve my language teaching skills. What can I say? It’s a small town. My English skill even gets a little bit rusty because I rarely speak English and I barely write any academic papers. Because I had to write 3 essays and get 3 reference letters for this exchange program, I worked super hard to read loads of references, contact potential professors and supervisors, and write my essays. It was both physically and mentally exhausting but I was grateful for every process I went through. I finally did what I have always loved doing, surrounding myself with professional development. Lastly, I got to improve my English skill by studying for TOEFL iBT independently. This test is a big deal for US scholarship. Thankfully, AMINEF fully funded my participation but I have to get at least 80 to prove my eligibility for this program. Thank God my score is beyond the requirement even though it's honestly lower than my expectation. For God's sake it was not easy. I'm relieved I made it so I didn't have to pay around $300 to retake the test.
Well, talking about my process of applying for this scholarship is going to be a very long story. I’m planning to share more details about it for those who want to apply but not soon in the future because the selection process in the USA is still going on. All I can say for now is I’m happy to have made this decision. No matter what the result is I’m glad I’ve reached such a milestone in a year. I’ve grown to be more confident about myself and my role as an English teacher. I’m doing a good job and it is something worth celebrating for. Once again, Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. All praises to Allah SWT. Thank You so much for giving me a chance to be a better version of myself.
“You’ve done great Izza! I'm super proud of you!”
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