The beginning of 2020 is
approaching. Are you ready for it? Have you been prepared? Well, when we talk about new year, almost
everyone on earth will be focusing on resolutions. Me? I honestly haven’t set
anything at all. I actually made one this year but I guess not many of them
really came true. This year has been a very challenging and demanding year for
me. A lot of things happened and they are mostly things I never expected
before. If I may describe my 2019 in 1 word, I will say ‘roller coaster’. I
think it’s a mainstream word to portray life. But that’s exactly what I have in
my mind when I think of 2019. Why roller coaster? Let’s get deeper into that...
“2019
is like a roller coaster which slides down unexpectedly and quickly to the
earth. It indeed scares me to death and leaves me so much pain and tears.”
I still remember how
heartbroken I was when my education goals I set for 2019 failed. I tried my
best and I worked so hard yet the results weren’t what I’ve always wanted. I
kept questioning why but it led me to nothing. My mom was sick so badly for
quite some time. Alhamdulillah she is okay now. I was extremely worried and
anxious if it got worse and she left me. My mental health was tested when my
dad and I fought over my career path. We couldn’t understand each other well
because we kept standing on our own belief without considering the other side. Even
until now I feel like living in my hometown with my family again after 9 years
is not easy at all. A lot of times I found myself couldn’t fit in with the way
people live, think, and socialize. Here I am feeling like an alien in a place I
call home. I couldn’t deny that I’m tired of being asked those annoying
questions and I’m so fed up with the expectations. Yeah, life strikes me so
hard this year I guess.
“2019
is like a roller coaster that shoots fast to the blue skies. It indeed frightens
me but it brings me so much joy and fun.”
Despite all of the misery and
pain I mentioned above, 2019 was great! I’m very thankful for everything I had
in 2019. I did learn a lot of things that made my life so much better and I
achieved a lot too. I’m so proud of myself that I could consistently write my
journal every single day. It helped me a lot to maintain my mental health. I’m
super proud of myself that I read 56 books this year. Surely, those books changed
my life to be better. I’m very satisfied that my patience paid off. Back then I
always wanted to travel by myself but I knew I wasn’t ready for that. Thank
God, I could do it this year. These achievements taught me that by controlling myself, being
consistent on doing good habit, and keeping my patience, I can get what I want.
With consistency and perseverance I can always be more than I was.
Alhamdulillah...
Quitting my job and leaving
Malang for Bali were not a bad choice at all because now that I’m home again I
can get closer to my family especially my mom, I can escape the noise of the
city and enjoy the real nature, and the best part is I can have more time to
write and revive my blog. Letting go my past goals and toxic people was the
best. It actually led me to better things to do and better people to befriend
with.
Everything that happened to
me whether they were depressing or pleasing has helped me to grow. Through the
hardship, now I’m much stronger than before. Through the conflicts with my dad
and family I learnt to understand people more and how to compromise. Through
life itself I learnt that in life I have choices I can make but somehow I can’t
escape what God plans and decides for me. That’s totally fine. Who says that my
plan is the best? I’m just human being after all. And I accept that
wholeheartedly. All I can do is doing my best and letting God do the rest. Don’t
forget to breathe and be patient.
I finally was able to visit this very popular yet overrated beach. Patience pays off indeed. |
So that was the highlight of
my 2019. I have no regrets. I have no burden. I’m grateful for every single
thing that occurs in my life. Everything happens for a reason and I always
believe it’s not a bad one. Now, I’m letting you go my roller coaster 2019. I’m ready to rock
2020 away. Hopefully, everything we all wish will work out. Amin.
By the way, how was your
2019? I’m sure you learnt tons of things too.
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