you are fine as who you are

Malang, 05 Okt. 18

image is taken from this 

One thing I love from doing my job as a teacher is I learn a lot about people especially my students. As someone who meets them everyday, it feels like I notice what they think and keep in mind. Today was my second day of teaching for the final term of 2018. I just had 4 students and all of them are girls! For some teachers, having a few students could be troublesome. Yet for me, this condition is absolutely okay. I got to talk with them and the most fun part is I found out that they are just like me.

Some of my students are in their early 20s. The topic for today’s lesson is about success and failure. For me this topic is always thought-provoking and interesting to discuss. Yet, it could be depressing sometimes when it comes to failure. When we had a discussion time, one of my students shared her point of view. She told me that she had a very hard time to find out about her passion and what to do. She nearly finishes her study. She just doesn’t know for sure what’s next. She tried to apply a job but she failed. She doesn’t feel she’s worthy because she’s comparing herself with others who seem  more successful. Some people in her life ask her to do things she doesn’t want to do. Really, listening to her feels like I’m listening to myself.

What she told me reminded me of what I shared on my blog before. I always think that it’s only me who feel that way since I don’t find my friends under the same condition. It’s actually not. There are so many young adults in their 20s who undergo things like that. Who feel so much frustrated and depressed about themselves.

It actually opens my mind. Most of us are insecure about ourselves. We don’t feel right. We feel we are less successful compared to our friends on social media who reach something big like getting scholarship then going abroad for studying and having fun or getting married with someone who seems so perfect from every angle, having a cute baby who is more popular than the parents, having a dream job that gives big salary, security, and popularity, and so on and so on. Oh God.

I do agree with those research that say young adults are more prone into mental illnesses. Those very toxic thoughts trigger off those disorders. Thanks to millenial era with its social media and our behavior in using them. Most of us are terribly desperate for having social acceptance by showing off ourselves. And when some people out there are more than us, we feel anxious and less loved. Damn!

You guys know that these toxic thoughts are dangerous. You must kill them or without a doubt they will kill you. But how in the world? If your source of anxiety is social media, just stop wasting your time on it. Put your smartphone away and do something that brings you happiness and make you love yourself more. //You know za, it’s easy to say but hard to do//. Yes! But it doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Be committed! There are so many good things you can do instead of checking your feed most of the time and comparing yourself with others. You have your hobbies, works, or new things or places to explore. Find which you are comfortable with. No need to look for social acceptance by posting who you are, what good places you are visiting, what you’ve achieved. You are absolutely fine without doing it.

Or if you still feel like you can’t get away from your social media, just follow or look at more meaningful accounts like accounts about hobbies, pets, or comedies. No need to follow a lot of celebgrammes or friends who are toxic. Surround yourself with good people who see you as who you are and they’re okay with that. Fill your head with positive thoughts about yourself. Do something that makes you feel alive and happy. There are so many tips to do that coming from the internet and close friends. All you have to do is ask and be open.

Sometimes it’s needed and totally okay to say NO to people’s requests and expectations. You must be brave and learn to do it. Stop being people’s pleaser. You don’t have to always follow what they ask you to do. You are the one who know yourself better. You know when you want to do things and when you don’t or when they suit you and when they don’t. If you keep following what they say, it will never end. Once a request fulfilled, they ask for more. Eventually, you will be worn out and losing yourself. Don’t let it happen. The universe has granted us freedom. Why would we waste it for being a slave to people?

Alright, after what has happened to me everything is getting better now. I learn plenty of life lessons from my time of being 20s. Dream, expectation, success, and failure don’t know time. They’ll keep lingering and clinging like a baby monkey to its mom. It’s up to us to decide on how we’re going to face it. Will you deprive yourself or stay cool for whatever coming to you? Hopefully, we all can choose what’s best for us without concerning what people say about that.