Malang, 27
April 2017
Hello God, I want to
tell you my story. I think You already know it since You can read what’s inside
my heart. But, I still want to talk to You. You are the only hope I have. You
are the light I need. You are everything for me.
My world is upside
down right now. Everything which once was okay, now it is not. My brick walls
which were able to hold my burden, have already gone. My faith in humanity, has
finally vanished. My cherished sanctuary, has already broken. I’m lost, God. I
was left with nothing but a broken heart.
It hurts so much until
I can’t bear to live for any second. It’s painfully killing me very slowly. It
frightens me every time I look into eyes. Those noises leave me trembling. That
laughter sends me nightmares. Those smirking smiles... sayings... They put me at
the rock bottom. Oh God ... save me ...
God... I think I’m
tired. I’ve had enough. I’ve been through the same pain for as long as I can
remember. I’ve been at the same position all over again. Do I have to be like
this forever? Will I?
I want to change it! I
don’t want to just sit on the corner and weep. It’s time for me to stand and
speak up! I have my own universe that You’ve blessed for me. And I don’t want
to waste it for cries. You give me all possibilities and chances and I don’t
want to miss them just because of grief. I have my own rights to be happy. I
have my own rights to stand for what I think is right. I have my own rights to
get what I deserve!
I’m sure everything
won’t be the same anymore. I’m certain it won’t be easy. But I believe this is
the right thing to do. I stand for myself. I speak up for my own good. For
everyone who has been at the same position like me. I might hurt some people
for this. But trust me, I mean no harm. I never want to hurt anyone. I just
want to speak truthfully, break my masks, throw away fake smiles.
Hi God, I feel much
better now. Everything happens for a reason. I think I have a slight idea why
this all happens to me. Thank you for giving me valuable lesson. Thank you for
giving me strength. Thank you for making me feel that I’m not alone. Someone
out there understands me very well and helps me in his own ways. I know that he
is currently also fighting for his rights like me. So God... Please give him
strength to stand and speak up. Please bless him with courage to fight. Please help
him to get the best as he deserves. I wish nothing but the best luck for him.
Bromo |
P.S.
: Thank you so much for being there when no one was, my dear friend.
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