Different

Malang, 16 Maret 2017

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I –

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost

Why does God create thousands of colors in this world? Why are there so many different roads to take? Why are we created so distinctively? What is the purpose of differences?

I have a lot of things to say. I have a lot of questions to ask. Yet, I can’t find absolute answers for them. The more I ask, the more varied answers I get. The more I insist my view, the more resistant it becomes. At the end, only fight I have. I am with what I believe is true. And the other one with what he thinks is right. It ends up with meaningless argument without any way out. How come it becomes like this?

I always believe that differences are fine. They exist to make us learn something new. They let us understand different views. As long as we can cope with differences, respect them, and put aside our ego, everything will be just alright. All cruel conflicts, gruesome wars, nasty arguments will just dissappear from our world. I’m such an idealist, right? Having my own imaginary peaceful world with its people who are tolerant. But, this is where my fantasy is fragile. I forget that I’m not the only one in this world. I forget that not everyone has the same thought with me. I forget the differences themselves.

I was so mad when someone who has different view with me fought what I believe. I couldn’t understand why he despised my utopia perspective. It’s the best! What else could it be better than that? I still thought that it’s that person who couldn’t understand anything about being different. That person is the one who needs to comprehend what I think. I hold that thought with me. I’m the right one.

But I was wrong...

It strikes me so hard when I think again about why we had that fight. Is it him who doesn’t understand anything or is it actually me? What makes me hold my thought so hardly until it makes me blind? Until I couldn’t see the differences themselves around me? I’m not the only one who lives on this earth. Millions of people are here. And they must have different thoughts from me. I ask them to think like me. To put themselves on my shoes. Yet, I never try to understand what they think and feel. I never want to know what they think of differences. I never have a willingness to put myself on their shoes. So far, I only see things from my perspective, what I think is right. Now I know, it’s me who doesn’t understand anything.

I realize writing this might make me sound like a fool. I’m the one who fights him with my belief. Yet, I admit it to my blog visitors that I’m wrong. Well, I know it very well. That’s why I write this. I learn a lot from that fight. It opens my mind that we can’t judge something from one perspective only. We are different indeed. To accept the differences we don’t need to fight them or make people believe what we believe only. Well, I don’t know whether these messages are what he tried to give me or not. But yeah, that’s what I got.

Maybe some of you are questioning why I write something like this on public? Why don’t I just tell him straightly? Blogging is one way for me to release what I have in mind. And I hope someone can learn something from what I experienced. I don’t know whether the one whom I have a fight with will read this or not. I’m not sure about it (Or is it just me who is too afraid to ask him to read it?). I just want to share. Only that. It heals me so much. So, at the end, I write this for my own sake. Not for anything else.

I’m sorry for the fight and everything.

Thank you for showing me the different views.

I truly appreciate and respect them.